It all boils down to self confidence. Some people’s self confidence, their self-worth, comes from within, whilst for others it comes from the outside. As children growing up we look to others for approval, we are told what we have done is wrong or right. This is a natural way in which to learn. As you get older, if you have a high sense of self-worth, firm self-confidence, we are less dependent on the approval of others, although we do all like approval and are more comfortable when we have a sense of approval, being liked, and fitting in.
You can do the same. Notice the problems that threaten to overwhelm you. Or what already overwhelms you, such as your workload or a transition. Or the non-supportive people you have to work with. Now search for firm ground or boulders to hang on to.
To be sure, our emotional state at any particular moment affects our actions, present and immediate future, in so many different ways, and I mentioned some of them in my recent post on defining emotional intelligence. Yet unfortunately, that’s often not the end of the story.
If you don’t have the right console, emulate! There are many personal computer emulators which let you play games for certain consoles which you wouldn’t be able to otherwise. Search the Web for your favorite titles and you should be able to come up with an adequate replica at an affordable price.
Now I’ve been talking about this concept in terms of creating a new girlfriend or boyfriend, but this is really applicable to ANY area of your life where you’re trying to create a “relationship” of some kind.
I’m not telling you this to brag or pat myself on the back. It’s to let you know that just a few years back I was completely clueless with what to do in these situations. And that is what inspired me to learn these anger management for kids. I was sick and tired of feeling manipulated by other people.
Talk as well as listen. There’s nothing more attractive than someone who gives us their undivided attention, but take your share of it, otherwise she’ll see you as a doormat and lose interest. Set your ipod alarm if need be – it’s time for you to talk!
The problem is as we said: a strong negative emotion will most likely generate a still stronger negative emotion. If it happens to you, will you be able to take one step back and direct your rational side to take charge, before hell breaks lose and everything spirals out of control?